Some days, I really feel like a manager, a title I generally eschew (a great example of a word I would never use at work). I audit things, lots of things: time sheets, job packets, designs, safety, bills, compliance, etc. It's a not insignificant part of my job since I have to be responsible for, not just what people are supposed to know and do, but also what they actually know and do. Thus, I try to spend a large portion of my time each day communicating, making sure everyone, myself included, is on the page that we are supposed to be. And where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing is usually not quite where people want to be and what they want to be doing. My ability to get others to where I'd like them to be, whether it be by hook, crook, charisma, persuasion, gentle force, not-so-gentle force, anger, or outright lies, is a work in progress. I don't use those last three very often.
Some days, I actually feel like I'm leading the people who work here. Other days, I know I'm not a good enough leader, whether it be a failing in decisiveness, charisma, communication, consistency, respect. Some days, I'm here, but I'm not. I guess I've learned that it's hard to always be 'on' and put on a good face even when you have no desire to talk to someone, deal with some problem, make a decision. Maybe I'm finally a real adult?
If I am, then it has often meant following the rules, even when doing what is 'right' seems like something else.
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