Wednesday, February 08, 2006

why get by

How do people put themselves in situations where they are forced to want to just get by? I asked that two days ago and I had an answer then and I still like the answer. The answer is that they put themselves in situations where they have obligations to more than themselves, typically to other people, that they cannot realistically break away from. The most obvious example of such a situation is someone who must take care of a child. (I say realistically because you can always get up and leave wherever you are, whatever you do, and whoever you're with, but there could be certain consequences, especially if you are legally responsible for the welfare of a child.) Other times, people attach themselves to significant others out of some emotional or physical need to be close to someone and then find themselves stuck in that relationship. More severe examples could be those severely addicted to drugs who perpetually seek to get by to the next fix.

Best I can tell, that child thing seems to really be a sticking point for a lot of people. Both emotionally and legally, it's difficult to abandon a child and move on with your life. You can't just 'get over' something that walks and talks or presumably will do so one day.

I do not suffer from that particular burden (and don't pretend that it isn't one). In fact, I am quite free of any obligation to those who are not me to up and leave whenever I feel like it. That's the advantage of being unassociated with a place or a job or a person to such a level that there is some heavy burden to leave it. And that's why I don't feel like I'm "getting by". I could leave this place, this job and go somewhere else tomorrow. I don't plan to, but I could because I am free and that freedom exists because I have made decision to ensure its existence. I would have no problem accepting the affects of a decision to go back to school or becoming a drifter and having to scrape by because I would only be subjecting myself to that standard of living. (Don't worry, I'm not going to become a drifter, but hobo has a nice ring to it.) No one else would be directly and adversely affected by such a choice. Thus, I wouldn't be "getting by" to make sure I could provide for others, stuck at job I might resent to ensure enough money comes through to pay the bills, feed the mouths, and buy new cheap plastic stuff. I would be getting by in a sense, but it would be freely chosen, not some forever resented life burden.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Daily posts! We're getting spoiled, we are.

Anonymous said...

Since you are talking about children and their welfare, many people think it is okay to do the minimum work and they can just "get by" as you mentioned. Unfortunately when they get themselves into the deep hole, you know who will bail them out. Watch out for your tax dollars which will pay directly or indirectly to those welfare recipients, especially the ones who think they can have as many children as they want and with many mates as they enjoy and let the state supports their offsprings. They never consider it's a burden to them to have all those children. The more they have the more welfare they receive. This is a vicious cycle which will never end.